Hormones – The Masters of the Galaxy

Every day we are in battle with them. They make us aggressive, rebellious and hostile. But also happy, in love and empathetic. At worst, they steal all our energy.

Of whom I speak? Hormones – The absolute Masters of the Galaxy.

Gloryhammer Lyrics - The Masters of the Galaxy
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Fighters, friends or goblins?
Who are the hormones?

Actually, hormones are not fighters at all, but messengers. Hormones are signal molecules that influence various bodily functions. Messengers and influencers, “bad” or “good” counsellors. The hormones whisper their message to the receptors in the cells of the body. Depending on who else is also involved as an influencer and whispers their message, the body determines its reaction to it. This can lead to a hammer blow, a fight or a battle. Sometimes the enemies lie in each other’s arms and cuddle unicorns or there are silent tears… 

Adrenaline, Testosterone & Co

The names of the messengers are not found in the lyrics of Gloryhammer. But I was able to figure them out! Among other things they are called Adrenaline, Noradrenaline and Cortisol. And what makes these three especially dangerous: They are lightning fast.

Also the two Amazon princesses Oestrogen and Progesterone should not be underestimated. If they miss their best friend Melatonin, intergalactic fights, also known as PMS, can occur. But more about that later.

There are also the really good ones. For example, the influential lady Oxytocin reduces all aggressions. She mediates in battle and promotes positive social interaction. And if in the end really everyone cuddles with unicorns, then she is happy, the cuddly messenger.

Serotonin also makes us happy and gives us creative ideas. But if she is unbalanced, she likes to take part in intergalactic fights. 

Dopamine also gives us good feelings, even flows like the Runner`s High.

Last but not least I would like to mention Testosterone, the male monster. When he is present, everyone around him is energetic, fun-loving and with stamina. And not only when fighting or building up muscles, but also in bed – or wherever else. Since often you really can’t control yourself then. Because this guy is extremely sexy. But to reach everyone with his message he needs the help of a goblin. The SHBG. This is what the goblin is called, because his name is much too long. Actually his name is Sex-Hormone-Binding-Goblin (or something like that…).

Intergalactic fights

Neither fun-loving nor persistent and certainly not full of energy are the intergalactic fights. Also known as premenstrual syndrome, short PMS. Testosterone knows it not, because the fights can be fought only by women.

Hormones - The Masters of the Galaxy, Plectrum of Gloryhammer "Worship or bleed"
It’s not that simple…

The fight is triggered by the discrepancies between the two Amazon princesses Progesterone and Oestrogen. If they usually agree, Progesterone dominates once a month and elemental shifts occur in the intergalactic space. (In medical terminology: the progesterone level increases after ovulation in a woman’s menstrual cycle, while the oestrogen level decreases. The hormonal changes cause shifts in fluids and electrolytes in the body, possibly leading to PMS)

The two Amazons have a dear friend in common: Melatonin, the king of the night. Usually they enjoy the time together. But when it comes to a conflict, Melatonin retreats into the darkness. The intergalactic fights intensify. So weakened, Progesterone and Oestrogen alone must now see how they cope. (In medical terminology: low melatonin levels favour the premenstrual syndrome).

The two Amazons not only have a common friend, but also a common muse: Serotonin, the bringer of luck. Unfortunately, once a month she also gets in a bad mood. And sadly, it’s always exactly at the time when the elements shift and the intergalactic fights begin. Serotonin is a very peace-loving fellow and instead of getting involved in the fights, she also retreats to spread bliss again at the right time. (In medical terminology: after ovulation the serotonin level drops steadily and drops extremely shortly before the beginning of the period).

Silent Tears of Frozen Princesses

The elemental shifts therefore trigger the intergalactic fights. The monthly battles are sometimes more, sometimes less intense. Different complications can occur, such as floods, hurricanes or heat.

All this is very strenuous and exhausting. That’s why our two Amazon princesses are soon tired and leached out. They have pain all over their bodies and cry silent tears of fatigue.

(In medical terminology:

PMS symptoms can be:

  • water retention in the tissue & weight gain due to these water retention
  • dizziness & circulation problems
  • hot flushes & sweats

And also 

  • back pain & abdominal pain
  • ravenous hunger
  • concentration problems
  • sleep disorders & fatigue
  • loss of drive
  • hypersensitivity & mood swings, up to depressive moods)

Infernus Ad Astra

The most terrible thing for the two Amazons is the loss of their astral powers. The weakness takes over their whole body. They can no longer do anything and the intergalactic fights overpower them. Our starlets feel close to death…

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Intergalactic fights inside us

Just like the two Amazons, I also feel regularly once a month. For a long time I wondered why my running times get so awfully bad every few weeks. Why I suddenly cannot manage the weights I normally lift. A complete performance collapse in stamina and weight training.

In fact, there are studies that have come to the same conclusion. Hormonal fluctuations can lead to fluctuations in physical strength. If the loss of strength continues into the menstrual period, a possible iron deficiency can also be the cause. Among other things, iron has the task of helping to distribute oxygen in the body. The oxygen is used by the cells to produce energy. If the iron is missing, the energy is also missing.

What makes it even more difficult is that all this happens at a time when you are in a bad mood anyway. I would describe myself as a positive and cheerful person. But when the hormones fight their intergalactic fights inside me, I am also not free from mood swings and sadness. If such bad results are added to this, it only increases the frustration…

Battle for Eternity

Fortunately, those days are over as quickly as they came. As in all bad times, it is important to persevere and be patient!

In addition there are some nutritional and behavioural tips. If you also have to go into battle every month, just try out some of them and see if any of them help.


Eat rich in vitamins and minerals. Especially vitamin B6 and vitamin E are said to help against PMS. Vitamin B6 is found in bananas, potatoes, fish and meat, for example. Good sources of vitamin E are vegetables, nuts and high-quality vegetable oils such as wheat germ oil.

Increase the alkaline part of the food (fruit, vegetables, salads) and also take alkaline foot baths.

Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, coffee and sweets. Yes I admit, especially the last-named is almost impossible. At least for me. I manage to avoid sweets all month. However not at all on these days. But there are still some battles to fight. Therefore: What is not yet, is still to come…

Hormones - The Masters of the Galaxy - Sweets
Maybe one should rather choose nuts when snacking. That way, you would get all your vitamins right away, too…

Sleep long enough.

DARK EXERCISES for a better sleep
If you have troubles with sleeping, you are welcome to try my DARK EXERCISES for a better sleep.

Move outdoor a lot. (Nordic) walking, hiking and cycling are great, for example. Those who have difficulty overcoming themselves, do it like me: put your favourite music on your ears and you will be motivated. And please: Don’t stop time! Do it really just for fun!

For those who do not want to give up their ambition, I have the perfect tip. In the premenstrual phase, connective tissue and ligaments are a little looser. That is why I have started to train my mobility on these days. For example, to be able to do the splits at some point. And the best thing is that the physical successes also lift your mood.

Yoga is generally very good against the bad feeling during PMS. There are even special yoga programs for this and also asanas that help against menstrual pain. What always helps me very much is Yin Yoga. With Yin Yoga I find my inner self and the world doesn’t look so sad anymore. A sequence with Insomnium is already available here on my site. Soon there will be another one with songs by Hallatar and Trees of Eternity. Therefore: Stay tuned!

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Final words

And those were my final words as well. I hope I was able to give you some helpful advices. If you have any tips that help with PMS, I would be happy to get them in the comments.

If really nothing more helps to drive away the bad mood – listen to Gloryhammer! Because even if the hormones are the Masters of the Galaxy, Gloryhammer set the whole Universe on Fire. And they set us on fire with their good vibes!

Hormones - The Masters of the Galaxy - Gloryhammer - Angus McFife

… Set the Universe on Fire 
there´s no End in Sight
bring me to the holy raging Power
where I find my Destiny
the Universe on Fire
you´re my guiding Light …

GLORYHAMMER “Universe on Fire”

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